Score: 8

"Rucky Candy"

submission: Ching Chong Beautiful

date: December 14, 2009

I adore this game. From the second I picked it up. The graphics, the presentation, and the borderline racist remarks are all awesome! A game with full voice over and some of the quips the protagonist says are priceless, "You people are bat-shit insane!" is my personal favorite.

I have two qualms with the game.
First: The controls could be so much tighter. There are subtle things you learn about it like when to run and when to not, but it always seems to keep running one second too long, or I didn't slide as far as I should have. Things like why can't he grab that when he's done it before. He's not scrambling up that wall fast enough.

Qualm number two:
I love the idea and in a few rare cases strategic falling on your ass gets you places faster but the obstacles (the weapons) are really set to spam minutes of your time away. No wonder I hate hard mode. Things like placing a cannon under a trampoline so it hits you no matter what you do. It gets frustrating. This makes the game fairly unforgiving on any level so you find yourself hitting restart because you didn't hit run at the right time, because you didn't grab that one ledge when you should have.

In general. It lacks flow. I like the idea of fucking up royally but if you get better it should be a little easier to flow through a course which it never really gets. Anyways it's a great game and I could have totally seen it on something like the SNES back in the day.

Score: 10

"Good"

submission: Facebook Twitter

date: December 6, 2009

But I thought YouTube was for all the "interesting" things boring people did.

Score: 4

"Critical Flaw!"

submission: Psa about the game

date: December 6, 2009

The "Game" fails as such:

In order to be a game, there has to be defined conditions that constitute a winning of the game.
If there is no way to win it, then it is not a game. It is merely an exercise in futility. Some would stay abject stupidity.

Score: 10

"That Was Delightful!"

submission: LARRY episode 1

date: December 5, 2009

It's just the Hero's Tale but it's quite well done. I really have nothing more to say. It was well-written and the protagonist was perfect.

It proves that the smaller you are the more bitter and angst-ridden you are.

Score: 6

"Such a let down."

submission: Zombie Exploder

date: November 6, 2009

I was really looking forward to this game but alas I'm betrayed. At first it looks very cool, sleek, and stylish. However, once you cut through the frosting, it's kind of well, it's kind of bland.

First off: Your control scheme is a little hokey and I'm not talking glitches. I'm talking "Why can't I just run and punch/kick with the mouse and use space bar for jumps." kind of hokey.
Fiddling around with the WASD keys was kind of lame.

Another thing. Your moves are limited. I mean yeah you can hit them in the air and do some moves, but you should have really made it more bullet-time. Like arch-kick the zombie where you wanted.

That's another thing, I had no sense of direction or impact. Sure I got one or two out the window which was cool, but I had no idea how I did it. If I kick up I want him to get knocked up, if I'm crouched and sweep my leg forward shouldn't he get tripped?

It was the same old, same old floor no real variety and is totally a let down from having waited months.

Sorry.

Score: 8

"Wow."

submission: SpeedAnimate:SakuraHentai

date: November 5, 2009

I thought I was bad. I thought I was the worst artist on the face of the planet. You've given me hope. If people think this is good then, I have definitely got a chance.
I'm going to give it another shot.

Thanks for the hope me amigo!

Score: 6

"Three words!"

submission: When Penguins Attack - TD

date: September 27, 2009

Start wave button. When you require so much strategy and free placement of defenses ten fucking seconds is way to short to even appraise your situation.
I don't even have time to put down two towers.

Other than that it's a good tower defense and killing penguins is always a plus but if you fail on such a basic level as not letting someone have a minute at least to prepare between waves then it's not getting above a six in my book.

Score: 6

"Oh come on!"

submission: Madness Deathwish 2

date: September 26, 2009

You're hit detection is crap! Now I'm using a freaking track pad but when I use one finger to work the aim and click with the index finger on my other hand. Only about every other shot hits.

Makes the game really frustrating.

Score: 6

"Ah! NO!"

submission: Neo Tokyo Bash

date: September 26, 2009

Okay lets get the few good things out of the way.

It looks good, if you like that chib-Japanese art style I suppose.

It's smooth.

Now to where it falls on its face:

The controls blow. They're overly complex. The whole thing is bull. I mean shift after a jump to double jump. I don't know how many games you've played recently but most people have you hit the same button twice. Other than that it's a rather awkward fumble to find the right buttons to press to hurt the almost unbeatable boss.
Insert and fucking delete? With arrow key control. You know I don't know how this could POSSIBLY go wrong.

Seriously come up with a cleaner control scheme this one plan sucks. It makes the game one frustrating customer. I even took the tutorial but there's just no way to make it freaking work. None.

A game can look good all it wants but it has to have playability!

Score: 3

"Must... be... nice..."

submission: Anime Smash Beta

date: September 6, 2009

I'm going to be blunt and horribly so. Why I bother, well I'm bored like you really care you copped out halfway through really. I can't really see any reason to permanently drop this game, and that would net you five stars but why the zero lets cover that.

Basically it's a balance issue fail, and well you'll reply it's only a beta. To which I will reply well you should have freaking finished it. You submitted this so we could all what? Fawn over a half-baked piece of work.

Lets put this in perspective. "Oh I'm going to bake you a cake, but I don't feel like putting it in the oven." Now, I'm not against postponing the work, but what did you run into legal issues? Which you were obviously trying to avoid.

Betas are for showing how awesome your game is going to be, not so you can present it to us and expect praise for it. So you get a zero instead of a five.
Namely because you presented a horribly balanced game. There was no real way to win against the computer when it fights like the last boss of a Devil May Cry game.

Footnote: The visuals are good and the controls are smooth enough, but it's not enough to really take away from the other issues in this game.